Miracles, Glue, and Love

I haven't written on this thing in ages it seems, so I guess here's why...

Probably most people reading this know that one of my closest high school friends died Jan 31st. Tom initially went into a coma that I thought he would come out of. In fact, I'd say I was sure he would come out of it. Sitting in the hospital, knowing that there were literally people from that room to the other side of the earth and back praying for this very guy, made me as sure as I could be that a miracle, which was Tom's only hope, was going to happen. Tom did not get the miracle we had begged for... He didn't get what we had hoped and prayed for and "knew" was best...and this began the hardest week I've lived. I don't say any of this as if I had it the worst of those affected by Tom's death...or the worst affected from any other death that a loved-one has ever suffered in history...nonetheless, in my little 24 years of life, this was the hardest loss that I've ever known.
On the other side of all of this, however, God took the one miracle that we had prayed for and multiplied it by four (and counting). Tom's organs saved the lives of four people...FOUR people are living because of him. It just blows my mind. This incredible, caring, honest, funny, musical, hard-working, loving, faithful person gave even beyond his last breath. Amazing. I'm so thankful to have had the opportunity to know such love. At this point, the beauty in what he did by donating his organs, is not quite enough to justify it for me or for a lot of us that love him. That's me being a selfish human who wants what I want when I want it though...and not fully appreciating that God is bigger than what I pray for. He took a request for one miracle and quadrupled it. Eventually this will be enough. The positive will outweigh the negative. The beauty will trump the pain. And I will have learned to more fully appreciate the gift of life and of death. For now, however, I still selfishly look at this and say - why take such an incredible person away in order to save the others? Couldn't there be someone else? Someone who was old or sick or already dying? Not someone who just had a horrible accident, but was otherwise strong and healthy and full of life for years to come...but again, that's me being human...but today that's all I am.

This has gotta be one of our first pictures!

I am again beyond thankful that I even had the opportunity to glimpse such a life, much less be a part of it. Tom has been the glue in our group of friends for years. He always got all of us together at any and every chance. The week between his death and funeral, our friends got together every single day and night until we were exhausted...to be near each other, to comfort each other, to share memories, to just not go it alone. Tom wouldn't have had it any other way. Actually, when we were all in the hospital I said, "Ok Tom, we're all here. You can wake up now!" (figuring/hoping that this was the ultimate stunt in getting us all together!)
It was scary for me to think that now we had to hold our group of friends together...I think it was scary for all of us. I feel that through Tom's death, I have become more aware of just how precious every moment is with my friends and family. I hope to be more careful of spending my time in ways that I will never regret down the road. I don't ever want to look back and wish that I had made a phone call or a visit...because I know that Tom wouldn't have missed these chances, and I could only hope to live and love like him.

I hope that anyone reading this takes this advice...To any reasonable end (or even a little unreasonable sometimes!) - Do not let money stop you from spending time together. Do not let busyness stop you. Do not let a 2 minute walk across campus stop you (soon this could be a 2 hour or even 2 day drive when you graduate). Do not let homework or work or even sleep stop you. I'm not saying to drop everything and just lounge around and hang out - but I am saying prioritize your life in such a way that there is room for every possible moment with the ones you love. Drive the extra mile...or 50. Pay the extra gas money and just go. Lose a little sleep. Spend a few cents on a stamp and mail a letter. "Say what you need to say." Make someone's day - not because it's a holiday or because you owe them, but because their happiness drives you to be more for them. Listen. Really listen. Make people worth your time and be sure that they know they are worth it. Just love. And when you do, do it as if you are making sure that this person will know beyond a doubt when you hang up or walk away or say goodnight...that you LOVE them with every ounce of your being.